Chapter 4: The First System Backfire (Caffeine and Chaos)

Shi Xi celebrated her new job by buying a cup of instant noodles and a energy drink. She was sitting on her futon, slurping noodles and reviewing the Crimson Moon script, when the system chimed again.

[DING! MAIN MISSION REMINDER]
Avoid Original Male Lead, Lu Cheng, for 72 hours.
Time remaining: 48 hours.
Current proximity to Lu Cheng: 2.3 miles. Safe.

She relaxed. The Shi mansion was on the other side of the city. Lu Cheng, the brooding heir who was supposed to fall for Ning Yu and then drown Shi Xi, was probably off being handsome and emotionally unavailable somewhere.

She finished her noodles, brushed her teeth with her finger and baking soda, and went to sleep on the futon, using her hoodie as a pillow.

At 3:17 AM, her phone exploded.

15 missed calls from “Father Shi”
32 texts from “Mother Shi” (ranging from “Come home, darling” to “I WILL DISOWN YOU (again)”)
*And one message from an unknown number: “I know where you live. – GY”

She stared at the last one. GY? Gu Yan? How did he find her apartment? She hadn’t even told the production company her address.

[SYSTEM NOTE: Gu Yan’s resources are… extensive.]

“That’s not creepy at all.”

Then her phone buzzed again. This time, it was a video call from an unknown number. She declined. It rang again. She declined. The third time, she answered out of sheer annoyance.

It wasn’t Gu Yan.

It was Lu Cheng.

The original male lead’s face filled the screen—chiseled jaw, perfect hair, eyes that looked like he was permanently disappointed in the quality of his champagne. He was in a car, the city lights blurring behind him.

“Shi Xi,” he said, his voice cold. “Your family is worried. Stop this tantrum and come home.”

“It’s 3 AM,” she said. “Are you insane?”

“I’m in your neighborhood.”

Her blood ran cold. “You’re what?”

“The Shi family hired me to find you. I’m a private investigator. It’s in the novel, chapter 14. Did you not read your own source material?”

[DING! CRITICAL ERROR: Lu Cheng is aware he is in a novel?]

He’s WHAT?

Lu Cheng sighed, rubbing his temples. “Yes, I’m aware. No, I don’t want to talk about it. The fourth wall is fragile and I have a headache. Now, are you going to come out, or do I have to climb your fire escape?”

Shi Xi looked at her fire escape. A shadow moved outside her window.

She screamed.

The shadow laughed. A familiar, annoying laugh.

Gu Yan stepped onto the fire escape, phone in hand, and waved. “Evening. Nice pajamas. Are those the same ones you wore through the hedge?”

She hung up on Lu Cheng and yanked the window open. “What is WRONG with you people?!”

“He’s the male lead,” Gu Yan said, stepping inside her apartment like he owned it. He looked around with an expression of mild horror. “This is where you live? It’s a closet.”

“It’s my closet. And you’re trespassing.”

“I’m your producer. I have a right to know my talent isn’t living in a fire hazard.” He picked up her energy drink can, sniffed it, and put it down with a grimace. “Also, Lu Cheng is outside. He thinks you’re going to drown.”

“I’m not going to drown!”

“I know.” Gu Yan sat on her futon, crossing his long legs. “But he doesn’t. And he’s very determined. Want me to get rid of him?”

Shi Xi hesitated. She should say no. She should handle this herself. She was a retired legend, not a damsel.

But Lu Cheng was aware. That changed everything.

“What do you want in return?” she asked.

Gu Yan smiled. It was the smile of a cat who had found a particularly amusing mouse. “Dinner. Tomorrow night. After rehearsals.”

“That’s not a professional request.”

“I’m not a professional man.”

[DING! Gu Yan’s interest level: 30%. Also, the fish are confused.]

Join the club, she thought.

“Fine,” she said. “But if you try anything, I’ll use my Best Actress trophy. Metaphorically. I don’t actually have it anymore.”

“Deal.” Gu Yan stood, walked to the window, and paused. “Oh, and Shi Xi? Your fake name is terrible. Xi Nian? It literally means ‘hope for the year.’ You’re not subtle.”

He dropped out the window and onto the fire escape.

A moment later, she heard Lu Cheng’s voice, sharp and surprised: “You. What are you doing here?”

And Gu Yan’s reply, smooth as poison: “Collecting a debt. Move along, protagonist. Your damsel is in another castle.”

Then silence.

Shi Xi collapsed onto the futon, her heart racing. She had a job, a stalker-producer, a self-aware male lead, and a system that played cash register sounds at inappropriate moments.

This was going to be a very long six weeks.